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Don't Give Up on the Dream...

‘Don’t give up on the dream; don’t give up on the wanting...’

Sometimes, like everyone else, I get soooo fed up and bogged down that I find it really hard to follow through and believe in my dreams (you see, I’m human too!). As you may have noticed, I’m generally a very positive bean, but you do get those times when everything builds up and you want to roar. So ROAR! It makes you feel better...

But if you have something you love and truly believe in, then no one can take it away from you, as long as you keep believing, as the song quote said (guess which band?) ‘Don’t give up on the dream’.

In a way, all our restrictions are illusions. No one is truly holding us back, no one but ourselves. Fear may be holding us back, but fear can be dealt with and worked through. It’s not always simple, and sometimes it’s darn right tough, but it is possible.

Mars has just gone direct, and being my ruling planet, I have realllllly felt it! The past 3 months my Martian ruler has been going retrograde, and it has felt a bit like treading water. However now I feel like there’s a rocket revving up, ready to take flight! I can almost hear a crackling of energy in my ears, and I don’t think we are in for a quiet chilled out time for the next few months (o why didn’t I make the most of treading water when I had the chance?!) Plus Mars is currently in Leo (picture a big cat roaring... ah back to roaring again!), and Mars in my chart is in Leo, so yes I am feeling it!

People have been asking me ‘is this a time when I can get over those obstacles that have been holding me back’. Well, yes now you will have more energy to face those obstacles head on, now you may be able to leap over them (using your super powered Mars rocket!). But if things are not meant to be, now will be a time to leave them behind to find a new positive direction in your life. Mars isn’t a subtle planet. He won’t leave little mystical hints at what you should do. He’ll plonk you on the head with a big red hammer and say ‘Oi! You... over here... Pronto!’

When any planet changes its course, it can make us feel a bit confused, wobbly, emotional or frustrated. Hold tight, though as there is a great chance coming in to push yourself forwards big style. As not only has Mars gone direct in Leo but...

Venus, the planet of Love is in hot Aries, for just under a month which means we are in store spicy time! Make the most of this energy and wear the colour red! Let me know what reactions you get!

So everyone out there, don’t give up on your dreams, be strong, and charge forwards for Spring 2010.

With Love,

Laura  xxx

 

Love

‘Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Fearless on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me makes me lighter
Fearless on my breath’

Liz Fraser/Massive Attack ~ Teardrop

Well as we can see by the quote, whilst writing this I have been listening to Massive Attack’s Mezzanine album... I think the words for the song ’Teardrop’ are apt for today and the song is beautiful.  Yes, Love is a verb, and a ‘doing  word’, so today maybe we can honour the act of doing something for the one we love, whether it be the man/woman in our lives, or the cat, dog, friend, family member who we want to send healing and love to. The words ‘Fearless on my breath’ really strike me too, how amazing is it if we can live our lives’ fearless in each breath, if the words which come from our mouths, come from our hearts and are ‘fearlessly speaking our truth’.

As you probably know St Valentine is known as the Patron of Love and Lovers ... story tells us that as a Roman Priest he went against Emperor Claudius, and continued to ‘wed’ the soldiers, though Claudius banned it. Claudius obviously thought that we women were too distracting for his soldiers. One night Valentine was arrested mid marriage ceremony and condemned to death, and was apparently executed on this day.

What this has to do with fluffy ‘I LOVE YOU’ Teddy’s and heart shaped chocolates, only the card and merchandising companies can tell us but it seems that worldwide the 14th of February has a link to romance. In Asatru religion (Norse heathenism) Feb 14th is the Feast of Vali (Vali... Valentine...interesting) which is a late winter festival to celebrate the return of the light, but it was also thought to be a time to exchange gifts and cards with loved ones, as well as a time for marriage and a time to renew marriage vows.

Today is also the Lunar New Year in the Chinese calendar and the most important festival in the Chinese year! We are now in the year of the Metal Tiger, and that is pretty powerful energy to be dealing with! So if you are more fed up than loved up today, take on the energy of the tiger, whose attributes include luck, liveliness and forthright. The Tiger also brings bravery into the equation. The Tiger doesn’t thrive on money and pretend power, the energy of the Tiger is honesty, so this will be our mission in 2010.

Bravery and honesty, brings me back to my original quote... fearless in my breath.

As I finish the blog, I am now listening to The Cure ‘Pictures of You’, old Goth that I amJ. So all in all these are the songs and thoughts I’d like to leave you with on this worldwide day of celebrating those we love.

Have a lovely day,

Laura

Reading the Soul


'What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.'
Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Tarot is split into 2 main sections, the Major Arcana, and the Minor Arcana, meaning 'Greater' and 'Lesser' secrets, hinting that the cards are used not only for fortune telling but for reading the soul. There are 22 Cards in the Major and 56 in the Minor. We call the Minor Arcana cards the 'Outer or Lesser Mysteries' not because they are any less important to us, but because they represent day to day events, conditions of the body, heart and mind, and parts of our life that are more fleeting, however joyous or painful.

The key to learning the cards is to work with the outer mysteries first, to follow their path, discover their meanings. How I like to do this is to pick a card that is relevant to me now, or an energy I would like to bring in, and meditate on it. As I meditate I 'enter' the card, journey into it's world, meet the characters depicted, ask them questions, or simply relax in the card's environment. For example you may want to bring the intuitive, loving and nurturing energy of the Queen of Cups into your life, and so in your meditation, you could find your self paddling on a beautiful beach, swimming with the dolphins, or sitting with the Queen of Cups herself.

All paths to the mysteries are taught from Lesser to Greater, Outer to Inner. So, in a way we are saying that to understand ourselves we must understand the outside world. The path inwards is represented by the Major Arcana, which is  less of a series of events/situations and more of an evolution of the soul. The journey and maturation of The Fool (numbered 0 in the Major Arcana) has been called by some, 'The Hero's Quest', Alchemist's call it 'The Search for the Philosophers Stone', whilst the Mystics call it 'The Quest for the Holy Grail'.

This subject could, and has filled many books, but what i'd like to bring to your thoughts today are these two ideas:

*The energy of the cards is not simply a tool of prediction, but a journey of inner and outer enlightenment. The cards have suffered much misunderstanding and patronizing over the course of history, today (as everyday) I want to celebrate their magic and mystery.

*We don't often give much credit or thought to the power house of energy within us, so today I'd like us to look at our own journeys, where on The Fools journey are you?

Best Wishes,
Laura

The Hermit

The Hermit

 

I decided to write today’s blog about a much misunderstood Tarot card named ‘The Hermit’. The reason I chose to write about this card is because of a dream I had t’other night in which The Hermit card appeared to me.

 As we are post Christmas and pre New Years Eve, in that surreal ‘time- out- of- time’, I feel it ‘s the perfect time to get to know The Hermit, and to connect with and rest within our own ‘centre’.

Before we look at what resting within our centre means, I’ll explain a little about The Hermit himself.

The Hermit is mostly depicted as a wise old man, carrying a staff or a lamp. The lamp represents illumination in the darkness. He can represent wisdom, maturity, learning and spiritual guidance.

When The Hermit turns up in a reading it can cause dismay as it does mean being alone, however it is important not to confuse ‘alone’ with ‘loneliness’. Aloneness is usually a state we choose; whilst loneliness is something we suffer with. The Hermit card can mean aloneness and loneliness, as well as withdrawal, isolation, wisdom and seeking.  But the true magical meaning of the card occurs if we look at it from an inner perspective. The Hermit is actually a deeply spiritual, positive and encouraging card.

You can find the true meaning of The Hermit when you are still and calm; he exists in your dreams and meditations, he inspires and with a bit of patience can help reveal your soul’s true purpose. To walk the path of The Hermit, we travel deep inside our soul, we find and ignite our own personal light, and find strength in our aloneness, without fearing ourselves.

As I mentioned earlier to connect to the Hermit, we need to find and rest within our centre. Everyone has their own personal way of finding their centre, but I’ve found this way works pretty well:

Sit cross legged or lie down somewhere you won’t be disturbed, place your right hand just below your belly button, and your left hand on your heart.  Breathe in deeply, and feel your breath fill every part of your body, from the top of your head to your little toes.  Feel the energy vibrate within your heart and sacral chakra. Feel the warmth and unconditional love flow through your whole body. When you have done this for a while and you feel completely relaxed, pay attention to any sensations you have in your body, or any thoughts which cross your mind. Ask yourself ‘is this thought good for me?’ If the answer is nope, then discard it like unwanted litter, do this until you feel clear of negativity. Rest in this place for a while everyday... your calm, spiritual centre.

Love

Laura x

Hello Everyone,

I have had a really nice, interesting week, so when it came to sitting down and writing this blog, I had plenty of ideas bubbling in my little pot. I was going to tell you about my week, which included my debut belly dancing performance, and a trip to Paris, but I thought what would be better (and probably more interesting for you guys!) was if I let you in to a few things I have heard/read/thought/learned this week, which really are keys to calm fulfillment. As Christmas approaches, we may all find ourselves running around like mad hatters, so before you start your busy Saturday, take a few minutes and read the following thoughts:

* The key is not to look for the ‘right’ person, but to BE the right person.
* Allow yourself to relax. Give yourself permission to do nothing for a while. Sit still and repeat, ‘I have no need to do anything’. We are increasingly caught up in a life style that can’t stop. We define our self worth through activity, yet this is rarely the path to a healthy body, mind and soul, and it most definitely is not the way to inner happiness and well being.
* The mind is like a muddy pool of water, the more we move around and churn it up, the muddier it becomes; when we are still, the mud settles and we discover clarity. Find stillness in your life everyday.
* Satisfaction comes from being happy with what you already have, rather than focusing on what you don’t have.
* An attitude of gratitude is prayer in action.

And finally…

* Go for what you want in life… if it’s good for you, it will come to you.

Whilst reading National Geographic on the train, I found out about a tribe in Tanzania who live as hunter gatherers, in the very same way as all humankind did before the time of agriculture, and then consumerism. It is possible that their life style hasn’t changed in many thousands of years. They have no permanent abode, very few possessions, no oppressive hierarchy, no religious holidays, no taxes, no bills… you get the drift. They rely on the land, and their knowledge of the land for food, and they hunt, not knowing when their next meal is coming, or whether they will be the next meal for a wandering Lion, but the journalist said that not one of them seemed to ever worry, they didn’t even seem to understand the concept of stress. They live a life of freedom. Their hard way of life may now seem alien to us, just as our consumer driven craziness, would seem utterly insane to them. I’m not telling you to rid yourself of your possessions and run into the wilderness, but hopefully some of these stories/ideas will bring some inspiration to you this morning.

Have a lovely one…
Laura x

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Yup, the above question is usually heard as an insult or the name of a well known TV show, where celebrities trace their histories, and are often surprised or shocked by what they find. But ancestry is not quite what I'm talking about today... close though.

Who do you think you are? Not what job do you do, nor what music do you like, clothes you wear, books you read, holidays you take etc, underneath that?
Sister, Mother, Father, Friend, Lover? Underneath that even.

Don't worry, I don't presume to know the answers to this question, the only person who can discover your inner truth is you. Neither can I say at 29 that I know exactly who I am either, for all I know, I might not have a clue!

This all sprang from a conversation I had with a lovely lady from Australia, who has lived her successful city life, gave it all up to live in a tepee, then re started her life and her own business. She said that at nearly 60 colourful years of life, she was still trying to figure out who exactly she was.

Don't you find that when you think you know what you are all about, something or someone happens to turn your perceptions inside out?

You probably, and quite rightly think that you are a nice person, but there are two sides to a coin, and the other 'shadow' side, we are often too afraid to look at.
Many many people will happily go through life looking at one side of the coin, and that's great, blissful even! However there are a few of us (yes that includes you, as you are watching this show!) who are searching for something else, something more magical and spiritual, which means we need to peer into the shadows. As the Death Card is not a 'bad' card, neither are the hidden parts of our selves negative.

I'm not at all saying for anyone to go out and be a meany, but do be honest with yourself. You are often stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Don't be afraid of the shadows, walk into them like the Hermit Card, shining your own inner light. To know both sides of our personal coin is tough work, but it allows us to be empowered, humble and self aware, if we live in denial we live in a state of fear.
As I said, I'm not there yet, it's all one labyrinth like journey.

I realise that as you are sipping your morning coffee, bleary eyed, you are probably thinking 'Sheesh, this is a bit heavy for breakfast!'
But hey ho, that's how it rolled this morning!

So who do you think you are?

Well, what you cannot find within, you will not find without.
X

Finding Your Path...

It’s funny how things turn out.  The most important events or changes in our lives are rarely planned; often something happens quite unexpectedly to ‘push’ us on to our correct path.

Being a very determined little girl, (find it hard to believe aye?) I became vegetarian at 10 years old, and despite my mum’s fears for my healthy growth, I REFUSED to eat meat, and was also prone to giving talks on ‘cosmetic testing on animals’ in the school playground! I'm still a vegetarian 19 years later, still passionate about animal rights, and happy that I started standing up for our 4 legged friends at such a young age!

At the age of 11, I vividly remember the day when my art teacher showed me a way of looking, and a way of drawing; the next thing I knew, art took over my life. One day, I couldn't really draw, although I've always loved being creative, and the next I was on apathway I'll never turn back from!

In my teens a good friend bought me my first Tarot deck as a present, which I thought was ace and my fascination with oracle cards began there. A few years later, I had just sold my car, and had a bit of extra cash which I wanted to treat myself with, (as the rest of the money was going on boring bills!) after searching on the internet I found a Psychic Development course which sounded perfect for me... and it was.

On that course I gained so much confidence, and one day near the end of the course, we went to a Pagan Federation ‘Open Ritual’, as it was in the same building. The Open Ritual was a celebration of Ostara , which is the original Easter Festival. As I walked in to the room, the heady smell of incense filled the air, people were wearing their velvets, robes, and magical regalia.I had the feeling so completely in my heart and soul that I had ‘come home’.

I’m definitely not saying that finding your spiritual and personal path will be easy,I have most certainly missed out all the gory details from my life here, sometimes we may feel like we don’t have a path, or that we have lost our way somehow. There were times when I felt so disappointed and disillusioned, that I wanted to walk away and turn my back on my chosen path, and it took me a while to work out where I was going and what was right for me, but those times pass, and of course you come out older and wiser.

We all have something we can tap into that will make us feel spiritual, elevated and whole. We can often find our true path by realising our passions – please see my blog from earlier this week. You may find that working for and supporting a cause or a charity close to your heart works for you, or spending time with family.

You can help heal the world, listen to someone that needs a freindly shoulder to cry, meditate in the wilderness, stretch your body into strange shapes, pray, work magic in a circle, hug a tree, or all/none of the above... whatever works for you. I'd like to hear stories from your  own spiritual journeys.

Blessings,

Laura

Something worth fighting for…

I have just watched ‘Last Chance to See’ with Stephen Fry. This series covers a few of the most endagered creatures in the world. So many animals, birds, plants and insects are becoming extinct because of our own actions. We can’t escape the truth that the way we living our lives is not only destroying the the eco system but also triggering the fastest and most wide spread rate of extinction our planet has ever known. So what are we to do? Do we get depressed at the stats and figures? Well, yes we ought to, as it makes me wonder what we, as a human race are up to, but we should not lose heart. As long as we have passion to fight for what we believe in we must not lose hope. I have seen and heard some amazing tales of people giving their hearts and souls to protect the animals/causes they feel passionate about. Their personal stories of success over what appears to be overwhelming adversity, are heart warming and give us all the hope and courage we need to fight for what we believe in.
Of course, everyone has different causes close to their hearts. For me, animals and nature are my real passion, and I feel inspired to do what I can to help. This morning I’d like to know what makes you feel passionate, and what in your life you feel is worth fighting for.
with love
Laura

How does your garden grow?

 After coming back from an amazing time at the 3 Wishes Faery Festival in Cornwall a couple of weeks ago, where we had the great pleasure of seeing nature elementals on midsummer’s night, I have been attempting to make contact with faeries and elementals back in polluted London!

At the back of my flat is a long thin balcony, not quite wide enough for a table and chair set, and I had made it my mission to create a faeire garden out of this concrete monstrosity! And by Jove, I think I’ve succeeded! Not being the world’s most natural gardener, I have been worried about the plants survival, and have been as nurturing as possible, especially in the lovely hot weather we have been experiencing. As I was re-potting the plants, getting all messy, and enjoying the beauty of the flowers and herbs, I began to think of where they had all come from: a little seed in the dark. From the mineral rich soil, energized by gentle watering and the sun’s rays, mixed with a little love and support grows the most beautiful, unique flower.

And so it is with our own personal projects, loves and ideas. Whether you are planting a garden, starting a relationship, or bringing your ideas in to reality, you need love, support and gentle nurturing. There is always a time, when the seed of your idea/relationship is young, that you are vulnerable to the frost of a cruel word. If the wrong person sneers at your thoughts, it can bring your plans crashing down to the floor.

 So today I’d like to ask you to tend gently to your own projects and loves. Remember, change is a good thing, emerging from the dark may be scary, but it’s necessary, or the bud of potential would wither, and there would be no beautiful flower.

Oh, if you were wondering if a little balcony garden can actually attract faeries, go into nature and see what your heart says...

X

How to live a magical life!

Remember when we were kids, and magic oozed from every moment? The world was one big adventure, and we all knew faeries were at the bottom of the garden, mermaids combed their long locks in the sea and dragons slept under mountains with their hoards of hidden treasure. I remember Summer times that seemed to stretch out endlessly ahead of me, everyday an open book filled with discovery and magic.

To live a magical life, you don’t necessarily need spells, rituals; dress in fancy robes and chant, old forgotten languages (although all these have an important place in magic, and it’s definitely nice to do that once in a while!), but to live a full, magical life all you need is yourself and to let your childhood enthusiasm and imagination come out and play! Of course we need to leave some things safely in childhood; life is a journey, and with all journey’s we grow and move away from parts of ourselves... but we shouldn’t forget!

So to live a magical life, believe EACH DAY is filled with opportunities for us to grow, to laugh, to sing, to cry and to move our lives forwards in the way we would like.

Approach people you meet with an open and interested heart

Believe that what seems ‘impossible’ or too good to be true, is possible and that you deserve the best.

And finally take good care of yourself and the world around you. The more you love yourself, and honour this planet, the more the faeries will come out to play with you!

Battle of the Sexes...?

Men are from Mars, Women from Venus? Well I’m an Aries female and I’m ruled by Mars...

So can human life be split in half? It would appear so! Opposites like good and bad, love and hate, men and women have been used for centuries to describe the trials and tribulations of the world. But can it really be that simple? Aren’t we just wasting precious time deliberating over differences rather than making the most of human diversity?

 I don’t like to make sweeping statements, as I believe each person is an individual and unique with their own strengths and weaknesses; you may meet a very domineering, strong and even ruthless woman and then an exceptionally sensitive, sweet and thoughtful guy. I’m not saying that there isn’t a fundamental difference between women and men; I mean it starts with biology, but I have my doubts whether we are an alien species. .. except for an odd few people out there! I mean if I were to speak generally about the sexes I would say that there are too few women in positions of power in the world and also women working the same jobs as men but being paid less. There are a lot of things I could say about global inequality, but that's better left for another day. A lot of guys aren’t as keen to talk about their emotions as women and I have seen over the years the problems this has caused, however I have also seen how some women’s emotional reactions have caused similar problems, but we seem to be spending too much time looking at the differences rather than seeing how we can understand each other better, to create more harmonious relationships.

One sweeping statement I will make is that women do not like it when people divide men and women into two, and think life can be that simple.  What do you think?

Laura Daligan

A day in the life of Laura and friends...

I was woken with the usual nose nibble from Cobweb, my boy cat. It takes a bit of getting used to, but I think it’s a sweet, if not discombobulating way to start the day. The first mission of the morning is to give the cats some breakfast to munch on and save my nose the damage! It was Star (my girl cat) and Cobweb’s birthday on Thursday and in true mad cat lady style, we had a Kitten party that rivals some of our own birthday bashes… they were so spoiled with treats, posh food, harness’s so we can go on walks etc! After kits have been fed and let out to play on our balcony, I have a cuppa and attempt to get my thoughts gathered for the day ahead!

I have so many creative projects on the go; it can be hard to know where to start! I write for a great Australian magazine called The Spirit Guide to Spellcraft, and for the next issue I will be reporting from The 3 Wishes Fairy Fest, in Cornwall, which I’m really looking forwards to.  I will also be helping the lovely Karina run an Elemental workshop at the festival, plus there will be lots of talks, bands, stalls and many fairy artists. For more info and to book a ticket, visit: www.3wishesfaeryfest.co.uk. To view my articles and to subscribe to the fabulous magazine, which is Spellcraft, please go to: www.spellcraft.com.au

One of my oldest and bestest friends is down to visit, she also is a Yoga fan, so we went to sweaty school! Sweaty school is our name for Bikram Yoga…It is no secret around the psychic studios that I am a big fan of this form of ‘Hot’ Yoga, so called, because you do 90mins worth of gruelling exercise in a room heated to 40 degrees centigrade! It truly helps you find physical, mental and spiritual balance, which is so important, especially if you are living in a hectic city like London.
After our Yoga session, my friend Jen and I were thoroughly mellow and starving! So we headed down to Camden to have some lunch and check out the new renovated market. I was very good and didn’t get tempted to purchase any thing red or sparkly!

In the evening, my astrologer pal, Zoe and I went to a Shaman talk and meditation by a great guy called Tony Samara. We did three meditations, one a guided visualization, one a chanting exercise and one intense breathing meditation.
After such a profound evening, I couldn’t face the bustling London pubs, so we went home with a bottle of wine and some cakes and watched a non-profit movie a friend of mine produced. Afterwards I curled up in bed with a good book and proceeded to have some very strange dreams….

All words property and copyright of Laura Daligan 2009

12 Reasons Why the Colour RED Rocks!

12 Reasons Why the Colour Red Rocks!

1. Seeing the colour RED can make your heart beat faster, increasing the blood flow around your body.

2. The colour RED is most often associated with power, passion, courage, danger, love, lust and emotional intensity. Brilliant!

3. RED can give conflicting messages ‘Stop’ with a traffic light and ‘Go’ with RED lipstick!

4. In China, India and Sri Lanka, brides traditionally wear RED wedding dresses, as it symbolises good luck.

5. RED is often used to decorate restaurants as it is said to increase the appetite.

6. A splash of RED worn for a job interview or meeting can boost your confidence, as it symbolises power, strength, decisiveness and leadership.

7. The colour RED doesn’t really make bulls angry, as they are thought to be colour blind!

8. RED is the colour of blood, and is therefore associated with our life force energy.

9. RED is for romance! If you want to express your love with flowers then a bunch of RED roses says it like nothing else.

10. RED is for femme fatale... just think Jessica Rabbit! J The colour RED will get you noticed!

11. In Russian, the word ‘RED’ means ‘Beautiful’!

12. RED is such a gloriously intense colour, that it is not for everyone... Thankfully there are so many shades; we can all find a shade to suit us! For example:

 Scarlet and Vermillion = shocking, sexy and extreme!

Pale Pink = feminine and romantic.

Hot Pink = flirty, naughty and fun!

Crimson and Maroon = More mature and earthy... still sexy though!

ENJOY!

For more of Laura’s colour advice and to view her very RED artwork, please visit www.lauradaligan-psychic.com

Copyright Laura Daligan 2009-04-29

Laura’s Thought of the Day To be Human is to create...

People ceaselessly create; each one of us is an artist. From the silence of the universe we bring forward sounds and form them into words. Words become stories, and with these stories we build structure in an attempt to understand our environment; our world.

To be human is to create, you do not need to have the painterly skills of Leonardo Da Vinci, or the musical genius of Mozart to realise this simple truth. To turn wool into a jumper, ingredients into a cake, thoughts into a sentence, ideas into money, pencil lines into a picture and love into new life are all acts of creation. To listen to the worries of a friend or a stranger, to lend a shoulder to cry on, or to read a book which inspires you, are also simple and often unthought-of acts of creation, which shape our days and our destinies.

A positive idea is beautiful, but if this idea is not followed through it is a waste. Opportunities for happiness and fulfillment are rarely unearned gifts; they are often the result of your endeavors.

To express the uniqueness of your soul is to make the invisible, visible, and this is an act of creation.

Romance and the Media...A rant by Laura Daligan

Walk into any newsagents, clothes shop or cinema and you can’t fail to notice what people are talking, writing and singing about. Turn on the TV, look at the adverts and the soap operas, it is inescapable; they are all showing us depictions of relationships, or rather the media manufactured ideals of relationships. It’s not big, it’s not clever and it’s really not healthy!

We are caught up in a bizarre merry go round of conflicting headlines. Pick up any ‘Women’s’ magazine, and you will find articles entitled, ‘Get the body you REALLY want’, which will be strategically placed next to a feature on ‘How to keep your man’. Turn the page and you will find that ‘Stay Skinny!’ will be paired with ‘How to please him in bed’.

All these poisonous words inform us that we are currently not good enough, and if we don’t do something about it, we will most likely lose our man!

As trends come and go, magazines decide that once in a while it is a good idea to ‘support’ a more curvy woman, and for a week, we are given a respite with patronizing headlines like ‘It’s OK to be you!’ and ‘Love your curves’. But don’t be fooled, by the next week we will be back to square one, and being told how so and so ‘lost a zillion pounds with their faddy diet’, whilst someone else is ‘depressed and letting themselves go’!

Ok, you get the picture; you don’t need to be a Psychologist to see what’s going on here. This is the big distraction of our time, if we spend our lives beating ourselves up for not being ‘good enough’ and then buying into ways of becoming ‘more desirable’ (all helped by the conveniently placed plastic surgery adverts), we are kept too busy to confront the more important issues in life, plus we will be constantly saving our money to buy the next ‘must have’ item.

We have seen what women are subjected to in the media, but the modern man has hardly got away scot free! Should he be a stay at home dad? Should he have to pay for the dinner, or will she be offended? Is he a stud or is he afraid of commitment? And then there’s all those adverts portraying the toned muscular Adonises to rattle the masculine insecurity.

Look at the world around you, is this way of life really making people happy? Is it helping us find true and lasting love? Evidence suggests otherwise.

So let’s move on to discuss how relationships are idealized, dramatized and over glamorized in our media. Both men and women are kept in a state of confusion with the greatest apparent ‘mystery’ of them all:

WHAT MEN/WOMEN REALLY WANT?

By creating a complex secret of this question and its elusive answer, we are kept us playing an ancient game of Cat and Mouse, which neither Sex has much chance of winning! Men are not from Mars, and Women are unlikely to be from Venus, we may deal with life differently to each other, but we are not alien races!

This preoccupation with focusing on the external to make us more attractive and therefore happy, takes us further and further away from our true selves. If we think we have to play certain games to keep our man/woman happy, we will find it increasingly difficult to understand ourselves and communicate our desires to our partners, friends and families.

So, what do we REALLY want?

Of course we probably want riches, success and respect, but underneath it all, don’t we simply want to be loved? Beneath the fashion and the diets, isn’t it our soul’s desire to be loved for who we are?

There really is no great mystery there.

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